Chapter 3- You Wrote the Book of Your Life!

One enormous thing that everyone must face, accept and realize is that you wrote your own book before you got here.  You chose this entire life and every little thing around you.  Blame yourself for where you are in it.  This is what you wanted.  Nobody did this to you.  YOU did this!  Your soul wanted this to become better.  You have to come out of the box and see it is much bigger than you are here and now.  Nothing or no one is a mistake.  However, you’re unnecessarily suffering by egotistical ways of living.  The Buddhists believe you do the best in this life to make yourself better for the next lifetime.  That is the truth.

I laugh at myself for the many horrible lessons I chose in this lifetime, which is my last lifetime.  I say, “Natalie Newman are you serious?  Holy shit! Why did you choose this painful lesson too and why so many at once?  I never dreamed I would have to go through this also!”  Then I accept everything that happens to me with integrity.  I am in complete awe sometimes when I realize how much I pushed myself through this lifetime.  I am astounded by how much I trusted myself with all these intense lessons.  I came to this life to party, not to hear and deal with BULLSHIT!!!!

However, I must trust that God and I are in charge of this life I choose to walk.  God puts in place absolutely everything my soul asked for.  I chose this.  God, along with the Universe, conspired together and created every second of it with complete perfection for my soul to learn and grow.  I see the horrible messes I have at this present moment and I don’t fear, stress or worry.  I just tell everyone and myself, “Hey, I wrote this book.  Do you really think I have come this far and fought this hard to fuck myself over now?  Why would I do that to myself?  I have to believe in my soul that I chose this, so I could become stronger and better.”

How could I not believe in myself and believe that God is taking care of me?  That is an insult to God.  God created everything and I cannot refuse to trust in that.  We created this lifetime together. Facing that fact is when you open your heart to love.  God is complete perfection and do you really think that you are not made from God?  Pure perfection is what you are.  Your soul is perfectly you, doing what it came here to do.  Stop creating the hell within.  Trust and listen to yourself.  Sit in silence and listen to what you have to say.  Bad is put in your path for a reason.  Good and bad is a part of life.

We create this horrible idea of what is and scare the shit out of ourselves.  Why do we fear the darkness?  It is exactly the same as daylight, but we cannot see anything.  Everything is still the same.  Do you fear your bedroom because the lights are off?  We fear or create what might not be there and it really isn’t.  Our minds create anxiety and we freak out.  My question to you, why you keep living in the darkness if you are so scared of it?  Turn on the light.  Open those wounds you buried so deep that are keeping you trapped in fear.  You are never alone.  Ask for help. The angels have been waiting to help you turn on the light.

When we are born, we just came out and we did not have to do anything at all.  We did not have to worry about what we look like, if we were born handicapped or if we have both arms.   We just trust in God we are perfectly our self.   Babies do not hate, judge, or question.  They are pure and society changes all that.  Society and parents point fingers and portray negative energies onto us.  They say. “OH my God, she has no leg, or she is poor, or he is ugly, or he is retarded.”  We get labeled for what we are not.   We forget our purity and our faith in everything.  Society tells us what to think and feel, but it is not real.   That is where we begin to lose our innocence.

When our innocence is leaving us, our ego begins to set in.  E.G.O.=Edging Out God!!!  An ego is just an idea we have pounded into our brains about who we are.  Our parents are the root of this.  You begin to believe you are your looks, you are what you do, what others think about you and what you have.  You begin to feel that you are separate from everyone and everything.  Separate from what you feel you need.  Separate from other people and separate from God.  Society and your surroundings took these ideas and place them in your head.  This takes you away from the truth and who you really are.

You begin to develop at a young age that you are what others think and that is the farthest from the truth.  We are raised in a materialistic society that tells us having a lot of “things” makes you better.  We are all equal no matter what we drive, what color we are, or what street we live on.  Materialism is a false sense of being.  It is not who you are.  You feel you are what you accomplish.  You look at everyone else and feel you need more, to be more, buy more and do more.  Then we feel we are better than everyone when we have it and we fall apart when we lose it.

You are not those things.  You cannot be free until you let that ego go.  Realize we are all in this together.  We are all the same.  Each one of us chose a different body, different country and different lifestyles for our soul to learn.

I read this story one time by a psychic who had done a past life reading on a blind woman.  In the blind woman’s last life she watched her mother be beaten for years and finally to the death.  She chose this life to not see anything because it was so traumatic.  Then when she walks down the street we say, “Oh my God, she is blind.”  So stop judging everyone for their handicaps.  They chose it.

It is stabbing God in the back to say I am better than someone else.  God loves everything, including you.  Stop thinking with your ego that you deserve things and be things that you are not.  Everyone is created equal and came to experience human life.  Never forget that ever.  Then your ego will dissolve.  Your life will get easier and your heart will fill with love for all living things.  You have to see yourself in everyone.

God loves you so much, but he also loves every single thing just as much as you.  Who are you to think you are better?  Because you live a materialistic life, you think you are?  Let go of the soul killing ego!  God, everyone and your soul will thank you.  Ego is evil.  Respect everyone for their journey.  The sun shines on good and bad.  Your mind says they don’t deserve it.  Who are you to play God and judge his work?  When you think you are better than another, that is evil moving through you.  That is moving you away from God and your higher self.

For every act of evil there are a million acts of kindness.  Stop allowing your ego to sit in the negative energies of darkness.  There is a lot wrong with everything on earth at this moment.  There is a lot more to come.  Please remember the world is fine without your worries and it is doing everything it is supposed to do without you adding more negative energy to the process.  You are living in the darkness you fear already.  Everything and everyone is needed to produce what is to come on earth.  Everyone has a part in it, both good and bad.  Trust in it!

The earth is full of empty souls that try to suck every ounce of faith and happiness out of us.  Empty souls are the life suckers that refuse to change.  They lie, steal, manipulate, and fill our lives with negative energy.  They never do anything good for anyone.  Their intentions are all bad.  I get nauseated around them.  I feel their presence.  It raises my blood pressure and I feel the darkness.  However, I do not fear them anymore.  I smile back at them.

When empty souls die they don’t have any faith or light.  They don’t go HOME.  They just slip into another body of someone who sells their soul by wishing for something so bad and praying so hard to get it.  When you pray or beg for something intensely, it opens up a channel for the angels to come in to help you.  But what you need to know is, you also have to give thanks and close that opening back up.  If you do not, you allow anything to come through to you.  Give thanks for your help and allow God to do what is best for you.

Empty and evil souls are waiting and lurking around you just waiting for a victim body of someone vulnerable to their desires.  This is what our earth will be cleansed of.  These dark negative souls will be healed or removed from this earth over the next couple decades.  We need to get rid of them to let the light shine, bring peace among the people and to our Mother Earth.  Time for a house cleaning!  Your Mother Earth is begging you to help.  We are all here to be a part of this moment.  Whether it is to be a great parent or support for our beautiful children and the future leaders of this planet.  Or just by smiling at people and being kind.  We are all here to spread our light to help this process.  So take responsibility for your part of this.  It is truthfully why you are here on earth at this moment.

Allow your soul to do what it came here to do.  Every person, every word, every feeling was put in action for you to deal with.  If we don’t experience bad we will never understand what we want.  Most times we run and hide from these bad situations.  Then take it out on everyone around us because we can’t face ourselves.

My life is a high speed train ride with people continuously coming in and out.  Faces on all different levels, color, wealth, languages, ages, old and new souls.  I love every one of them!  Each person comes into my heart.  What they do with that place in my heart, is up to them.  Some abuse it, some walk all over it, some take it for granted and those I let go.  Some are challenging and draining.  But I help them and keep working with them until they finally get it.  Some of them melt my heart with love because of their beautiful sunshine they bring to my life.  Some are blessings that never stop giving.

They all matter to me.  Whatever way they chose to treat my heart, I will still love them back.  We are all trying our best.   I shall not judge another’s path or how long it takes them to get there.  We all learn at our own speed.  I only send loving energy back to them that will heal them instead of hurt them.  I am grateful for each one no matter what they do to me because I needed it to learn.  To become a better woman and to be the best I can be.

The darkness is needed to help the light and the light is here to help the darkness. Never forget we are all born PURE. Nobody was born bad. Their environment and parents created the monster. Somebody hurt them so much and they take it out on everyone else. THEY NEED LOVE! That is what the light and the good people teach them – LOVE! That heals them so they can be good again. Stop hating and love your enemies. Love the most evil and controlling people on earth, because they need it the most. Their behavior is a cry for help, but nobody is listening.

When nobody listens, it manifests into horrible negative energies allowing dark souls to enter the body. When love hits their heart, the light shines in. Their addictions and pain become less. They begin to heal and love back. LOVE your enemies, because it needs you to love them. Then they can stop and become good again. It is all up to you. Spread your love and hug the Earth, because we all need you.

The darkness challenges the light by pushing us through fears, pain, anger, jealousy, stress, etc. It challenges us to become better souls. To want more for ourselves and to know what we want in life. The darkness teaches us to overcome our fears and be stronger within our being. It challenges us to question and find the answers. This enhances our knowledge and our faith.

The dark teaches us to love what we have with everything we’ve got. Darkness teaches us the magic in life by pushing us to another step in being a higher person. Without each other we would never have gotten here. This moment on the planet, is the moment of the end of the world as we know it. 2012 is the END and it is the beginning of a new life. A new way of living is coming, by creating peace and love with complete unity on this planet.

Through the devastating and difficult times ahead on both a global and personal level, please remember, everything is put in place to push for a better future. Have faith in God’s work and know you will be protected as long as you understand everything happens for reason. The greatest gift you can give this world is to love. When you love, your light will shine to everyone. The world will feel your love. Stop letting negative energy in. Learn and move on! Love the moment for what it teaches you or the gifts it brings. What you give is what you will receive back. Love provides us with all our needs. Positive brings positive.

Hold your faith and trust in God that you will be taken care of. When you feel fear just ask for help. Those who have faith will see this beautiful cleansing. So figure out what you want. Make a choice and get to work on your mind. Choose to stay negative or choose to awaken. Less than half of this Earth at this point will assume responsibility for their choices. Over half want to stay in negative ways of thinking. There is research all over the internet about this. It is my wish to help you choose the high road. I dream of seeing EVERY man, EVERY woman and EVERY child awaken to walk our Mother Earth the way we want it can be. IMAGINE PEACE ON EARTH. That will be Heaven!

When you learn to let go, the process of going forward to less structure, to a more open way to handling things like reactions and attachments, get easier. We can choose to disagree or infuse it in light and love. Our bodies feel the pain and when it hurts you look at it. Suffering is when you hang on to it long past it’s time. We can change everything.

For the next couple of weeks pay attention. Watch what comes up with all your situations. When you feel a negative emotion, stop! Ask yourself, why would this piss me off? Why did that hurt me? Those are the answers to your fears. Face your fears and find something that works for you. Take responsibility and deal with yourself please. We need you on this Earth to feel better inside. The rest of the world would appreciate it. It is not all about you, we have to feel you too. We do just by standing next to you or being in the same room. We are all ONE!

Keep your thoughts positive. Look for the lesson before you fall completely apart. Let the tears come and let them water your soul. Feel the feeling, then step out of it and look at it with a positive outlook. Tell yourself, only you have control of everything. You cannot control another. You will begin to grow and open a new way of handling things. When you send positive out, you get positive results. Stop, look and listen before you THINK. Your reactions are a reflection of the emotions inside you. How you act and react defines your personality. I always call it my PERSONATALIE.

Try thinking before you react or act. Is it in alignment with how you want to be treated yourself? Integrity is treating others like you want to be treated yourself. Do you live with integrity? Do you treat others how you want to be treated? If not, then do not expect them to either. If you try this you will see things are so easy to handle when they come. You will stop having to learn your mistakes through pain. Stop worrying what others think. Create your own reality and live in it.

When you try to control everything that is when the lessons are the hardest. Go with the flow of it. Love yourself and live in the moment of it. Be grateful for the chaos. You are really just here for the ride my friend. Enjoy it. You will eventually lose the need to cling to people because you are needy. You will begin to move through life experiencing things lightly and begin dancing through it embracing it all as an experience. Remember, you have the right to learn at your own pace. It is your journey. We only move as fast as we are able to.

Sometimes when I pray hard for lessons, things start to move really fast. The world around me spins like a tornado with lessons. Then I have to ask God to please put on the brakes a little bit. Please allow me to slow down and process it. I ask for help because I am having a difficult time at the moment. Life will slow down for you. We learn at the speeds we choose. I happen to choose lightning speed. I get my ass handed to me in enormous amounts. However, look at what I have learned because of it and I can handle it. You are stronger than you could ever imagine.

People may think they are separate and all alone, but the truth is there is so much interconnection. I am connected to all living things. When you feel alone, allow time for connection and communion. If there are no people around for good company, then be with nature, a dog, cat, a tree or the ocean. Good company comes in many forms. You just need to OPEN your mind and ears.

Everyone is an aspiring human growing. People are what they think about all day long. We are all here to only be our self and nobody else. Trust in your own intuition. Society tells you not to trust it. Believe in yourself. Let go of your attachments to your outcomes. Everybody wants the world to change, but nobody wants to change. Find your truth inside yourself. The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off. When you make a decision out of anger or frustration it is almost always a disaster.

Pay attention to the fact there is a lot of fear, arrogance, sadness, stress, hate, worry and guilt on this earth. Try not to get caught up in it and absorb someone else’s garbage. Humans generate it out everywhere around us. It goes out to our Mother Earth, the plants, animals, and every living thing on this planet, straight out to the Universe, absorbs it all. So address the fear and experience life.

You know life is worth the struggle when you look back on what you lost. Realize what you have now is way better than before. What are you complaining about? Somebody on this planet has it far worse than you do. It’s not that life is so short, it’s that we wait so long to begin living. We are all going to die, but not all of us are going to ‘live’. Also, everything you are running from is in your head. Running away from a problem only increases the distance to the solution. The easiest way to escape from the problem is solve it. Learn from it and find your freedom by letting it go.

Also, it’s important that people should know what you stand for. It’s equally important that they know what you won’t stand for. Now smile, be proud you survived another day and love yourself for being the best you that you can. If you hold hate and anger in your heart, then you’ve been skipping out on God’s most important gift to humans – LOVE. Love is the blood of the soul. God wants all beings to have healthy and strong souls, so God created a simple law to nourish the soul: the more you give love, the more you receive love. Please keep in mind laughter is God’s medicine and if we want to form an addiction, this is the best way to medicate. Try to naturally heal yourself first. It does wonders for your soul and your age.

~It was possible that a miracle was not something that happened to you, but rather something that didn’t. ~The Tenth Circle

As many times as you can each day sit for a moment and breathe in. Stop for a second and feel your heart. Take a moment to feel love and gratefulness in your heart. Really feel it. Let it travel freely through your entire body. Imagine if you could feel this all of the time. Take that love and spread it through the entire room. Love is surrounding you. Then send it through your home, across your neighborhood and then throughout your city. Let your love travel across your state, flood it across your country. Then explode in every direction across the entire earth. The entire earth is hugged by your love. It will all come back to you. Just close your eyes and imagine it. Spread your love around the world. It is that simple to make a big difference. We all feel it. Nothing is impossible, the word itself says I’m possible. The sky is not the limit. Your mind is. Believe and your half way there. The secret to having it all, is believing you already do.

I cheated on my fears, broke up with my doubts, got engaged to my faith and now I am marrying my dreams. You are far TOO SMART to be the only thing standing in your way. You know, I don’t even try to fathom it, tomorrow is another day, who knows what it brings. But I do know it will bring all new life in many different forms. Something fabulous is out there calling your name. Stop and listen!

Imagine what would happen if everyone woke up today thinking of helping others instead of themselves. Likely, this would bring peace. This would be heaven. What is the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable? Be anything, dream something, fear nothing and love everything. God has bigger plans for you than you have for yourself. If an egg is broken from outside force, a life ends. If an egg is broken from the inside, life begins. Great things always begin from within. The greatest battle is not physical but psychological.


~You did not cry or get angry about every new math lesson in school, did you? So why are you crying and angry about every life lesson? -Natalie Newman

~Give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

~To be kind is more important than to be right. Many times what people need is NOT a brilliant mind that speaks but a special heart that listens.

~If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought again.

~When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, NOT with it.-Henry Ford

~No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.- The Buddha

~As long as there is someone in the sky to protect me, there is NO ONE on earth that can break me.

~If you have food in your fridge, clothes on your back, roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of the world.

If you have money in the bank, your wallet and some spare change, you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy.

If you woke up today with more health than illness then you are more blessed than the million people who will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the agony of imprisonment, or torture or the horrible pangs of starvation, you are luckier than 500 million people alive and suffering.

If you can read this message you are more fortunate than the 3 billion people who can’t read at all.


Thank you so much for reading. I love you!

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Copyright © 2011 by Natalie Newman All rights reserved

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